Rockers Unite for the South Jersey Food Bank

For this installment of our almost weekly newsletter, we're pleased to announce a few exciting new efforts which we hope will warrant your participation.

Let's Rock the Food Bank!

The Laboratory has joined with the Food Bank of South Jersey to help the needy this holiday season. Just inside our front door there is a container we hope to fill with canned and nonperishable food. Collection will continue through December 18th. If you have any extra stuff in the pantry, we encourage you to help this worthy cause your next visit. If you wish to purchase food to donate, Pathmark has been good enough to erect an entire supermarket just a few doors down from our shop.

Gift Card Flexibility

Did you know that The Laboratory offers gift cards? It's true. No really. Seriously. Look stop yelling at me OK? It's really, really true. Gift cards can be purchased in any denomination. For example, you can purchase a gift card for $21.12. Or, if you're in a more metal mood, you can purchase a gift card to cover the total including tax for an item valued at $6.22. If you have a fan of the movie Spinal Tap on your list, you can get them a gift card for $11. The possibilities are endless. So is this paragraph. Oh wait, it looks like it's ending.

YOU CAN BE THE QUESTION ASKING PERSON!!

This week's exciting third paragraph is on our new question and answer forum. It's simple, like so many of our little plans. If you have any question about music, music gear, music performance, subatomic particle physics, quantum entanglement, or drummer jokes, just reply to this email. Our panel of trained chimpanzees will deliberate on who gets to field your question and indicate a response using a complex series of foot gestures. The best questions and answers will be featured in future emails, read by future people like you. Most likely while traveling via jetpack.

So to recap: Please help us give to the needy with non perishable food items. Enjoy flexible denomination options for gift cards at The Laboratory. And feel free to send us your questions - however big or small - and we'll provide insightful and cleverly worded responses.

Thanks for reading!

The Ministry of Weekly Specials