Saturday, March 28, 2009

Beware the Amps Of March

Springtime is here! And, as you know, springtime is full of sunshine and lollipops. And by sunshine and lollipops, I mean music instruments and accessories.

Lotsa New Amps
A is for guitar amps. We have so many that the Cabal Of Insertion Of Made Up Terms is hard at work on creating a new word to encompass the very concept of just how many cool tones our customers are going to be able to dial in with all this amplification horsepower. (My suggestion was f'tmch, but that one's already taken.) We have plenty of exciting Vox models in, from the humble yet versatile little DA5 to the mighty AC30. We also have the re-imagined Marshall MG series. Marshall has closed more of the ground between solid state and tube tone with these latest MGs, which feature newly improved cabinets in addition to the enhanced electronics. And from Roland, we have the MicroCube, which is another awesome portable guitar amp with amp modeling and effects. And - get this - the micro cube has an electronic tuning fork, which goes "Binnnnng!" Say that last part out loud; you'll enjoy it more. Now if I had invented the electronic tuning fork, I would have called it the Electrofork, or the Ener-Zap-O-Matic, or simply the "Machine that goes Binnnnng." But, as the patent office is constantly reminding me in court, I am not an inventor.

And just what, you may well ask, are you supposed to plug into these many amps? Well, I for one would suggest perhaps one of the
  
New Schecter Guitars
Many of our customers lately have commented on a conspicuous bare area on the guitar wall. We would usually respond alternately that we were awaiting a new guitar shipment, or that we had to jettison some ballast before jumping to warp speed in hot pursuit of excellent value. One staffer even opined that the guitars had started brawling over which customer to go home with, and needed to be separated. Well, now is the moment of full disclosure. We had to make some room for a bunch of Schecter guitars. In the music industry, bunch is the term for designating lots or many. So now is a serendipitous time to stop in and sample some savings on scorching Schecter six strings supplemented by sonorous speakers. Slurpee saddle stonehenge scallions.

Tuner Melt
We at The Laboratory have for long been fans of tuners. Both audibly going "Binnnnng!" and silently measuring string tension, we have no preference. We just stock options and let You The People decide. Well, we're probably on to something, since demand has steadily risen for many models of electronic tuners. So, upon your next tuner quest, we invite you to check out our newly renovated Tuner Display. Wayne was hard at work all day yesterday putting the thing together and appointing it with the many varieties of tuner offerings. As Wayne likes to say, "much in the way that Tuna is the Chicken of the Sea, Tuners are the Pickin' of the C, D, E, F, G, A, and B, sharps and flats notwithstanding." Kinda has a nice ring to it, doesn't it? Or more like a nice "Binnnnng!"

So in closing, come check out the Schecter guitars for great justice, make sure you tune up, and Beware the Amps of March. Et tu, guitarists. Et tu.
Et Tut.
E.T. phone Tut.
 
The Ministry of Weekly Specials 

No comments: